I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
