I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
