i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
sarcasm needs its own font
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize