Small penises have feelings too.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
