i barfeds in our rink
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
