What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
