it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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