YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
