Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize