No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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