just tell him i said nine months
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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