Texts From Last Night

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..

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  (613): You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon.. http://tfl.nu/gnh9
  Replies (16) Good night (835) Bad night (5297)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.

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  (812): i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys. http://tfl.nu/wntn
  Replies (73) Good night (7683) Bad night (935)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like

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  (571): On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like http://tfl.nu/th56
  Replies (10) Good night (1036) Bad night (4743)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting

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  (845): I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting http://tfl.nu/p4gt
  Replies (14) Good night (6701) Bad night (1242)
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  (510): View more from California

  Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"

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  (510): Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU" http://tfl.nu/83a4
  Replies (7) Good night (2647) Bad night (946)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.

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  (419): They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that. http://tfl.nu/gjrr
  Replies (11) Good night (4995) Bad night (856)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.

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  (405): In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday. http://tfl.nu/wcjj
  Replies (6) Good night (638) Bad night (1538)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.

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  (712): You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you. http://tfl.nu/5ard
  Replies (3) Good night (1523) Bad night (722)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.

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  (434): My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics. http://tfl.nu/jrhb
  Replies (8) Good night (1328) Bad night (499)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...

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  (804): It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left... http://tfl.nu/rixb
  Replies (7) Good night (463) Bad night (959)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.

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  (734): In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups. http://tfl.nu/3nhq
  Replies (7) Good night (1420) Bad night (476)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place

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  (575): Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place http://tfl.nu/vq1o
  Replies (10) Good night (550) Bad night (1125)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.

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  (907): I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here. http://tfl.nu/70da
  Replies (2) Good night (1324) Bad night (428)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...

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  (604): I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight... http://tfl.nu/vm1g
  Replies (6) Good night (334) Bad night (619)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.

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  (401): The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball. http://tfl.nu/7ib2
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (186)

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