you're like a bully in the Christmas story
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?