Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.

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  (440): I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot. http://tfl.nu/w3xr
  Replies (14) Good night (869) Bad night (2483)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?

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  (917 ): Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"? http://tfl.nu/0dpt
  Replies (15) Good night (624) Bad night (2815)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.

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  (239): it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming. http://tfl.nu/ara4
  Replies (39) Good night (5133) Bad night (786)
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  (714): View more from California

  the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester

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  (714): the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester http://tfl.nu/u653
  Replies (10) Good night (9597) Bad night (1044)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction

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  (505): i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction http://tfl.nu/hb6q
  Replies (10) Good night (988) Bad night (4514)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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  (508): I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls http://tfl.nu/izkj
  Replies (4) Good night (2028) Bad night (1419)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears

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  (505): the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears http://tfl.nu/h30c
  Replies (21) Good night (7368) Bad night (954)
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  (914): View more from New York

  There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do

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  (914): There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do http://tfl.nu/metj
  Replies (8) Good night (2135) Bad night (1125)
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  (213): View more from California

  there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.

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  (213): there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/2p84
  Replies (11) Good night (2704) Bad night (1021)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?

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  (864): Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members? http://tfl.nu/kgk2
  Replies (15) Good night (758) Bad night (2029)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first

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  (312): Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first http://tfl.nu/6e2a
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (1112)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.

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  (405): I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it. http://tfl.nu/f6bj
  Replies (5) Good night (1084) Bad night (831)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless

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  (920): I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless http://tfl.nu/u2yk
  Replies (2) Good night (1274) Bad night (408)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants

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  (919): Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants http://tfl.nu/k1dy
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (306)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.

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  (586): Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind. http://tfl.nu/wymh
  Replies (3) Good night (290) Bad night (105)

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