Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.