Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning

(410): View more from Maryland

how does that even happen??

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(610): you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning (410): how does that even happen?? http://tfl.nu/16pg

Replies (3) Good night (1879) Bad night (635)
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(705): View more from Ontario

You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".

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(705): You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this". http://tfl.nu/puns

Replies (39) Good night (8364) Bad night (811)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.

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(732): i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds. http://tfl.nu/8f3d

Replies (8) Good night (5622) Bad night (1259)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

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(303): Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free. http://tfl.nu/j1zd

Replies (20) Good night (8469) Bad night (1251)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.

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(678): I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom. http://tfl.nu/95nr

Replies (18) Good night (2122) Bad night (4036)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal

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(215): he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal http://tfl.nu/oaxp

Replies (35) Good night (1707) Bad night (4093)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...

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(+44): got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night... http://tfl.nu/vdnw

Replies (11) Good night (2861) Bad night (995)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile

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(860): my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile http://tfl.nu/1qzw

Replies (5) Good night (713) Bad night (1559)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?

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(780): I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots? http://tfl.nu/1jdo

Replies (8) Good night (1812) Bad night (1214)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?

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(215): Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch? http://tfl.nu/5ls9

Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (653)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You're gonna judge me.

(303): View more from Colorado

Howd you sleep with him already

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(720): You're gonna judge me. (303): Howd you sleep with him already http://tfl.nu/qfz4

Replies (9) Good night (1972) Bad night (464)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.

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(918): I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot. http://tfl.nu/9z19

Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (273)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.

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(860): Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America. http://tfl.nu/qj0b

Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (294)
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(620): View more from Kansas

I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?

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(620): I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough? http://tfl.nu/xi1b

Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (348)
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(416): View more from Toronto

He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!

(647): View more from Ontario

That is always a wonderful personality trait!

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(416): He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him! (647): That is always a wonderful personality trait! http://tfl.nu/blbp

Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (193)

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