Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
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Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
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I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.