You really coming over, don't trick.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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