just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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