I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
