What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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