I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
