I just pynch a tree in the face
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
