How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
