i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
