Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
