eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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