Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
