This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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