I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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