On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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