In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
