I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
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At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
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I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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