Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
