This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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