"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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