And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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