I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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