I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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