I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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