As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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