I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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