So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
