margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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