Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
