I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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