Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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