I wanna passion pit in your ass
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
