pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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