I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
