So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
