Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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