Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
