SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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