he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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