that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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