i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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