whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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