so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You had me at "let me see your balls"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
