but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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