He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize