If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
