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it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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