Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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