Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.